Anticipating 2011

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I’m not usually a worrier. For some reason, though, I’m uneasy about the upcoming year.  I’m strangely reluctant to set plans and I can’t even bring myself to establish personal goals.  It’s weird.

Is it because I’m worried about my son? Partially.  He’s going through some struggles that are beyond my control so there’s definite worry there.  But that’s not it. Is it anxiety over my most recent submission? Some. More, I’m anxious about how this current WIP is going to play out because the darn thing keeps changing in my mind. Maybe its a bigger worry.  My mother’s health, my husband’s happiness, my children’s well-being, the world’s well-being.  I don’t know.

Whatever it is, I find myself praying a lot these days.  Not for anything specific, necessarily, but as a reminder that whatever the cause for this uneasiness, it too will come to pass just as all worries eventually do. I’m praying to remember that there is so much potential in a new year. And I need to decide to do my part to help this year realize that potential. Bumps in the road are just that – bumps. Not mountains.

This year will hold struggles and situations beyond my control. And that’s okay. I am exactly where I am supposed to be when I am supposed to be here.  Everything else is out of my hands.  That should be a relief, not a cause for worry.

Now let’s just hope I can keep that in mind going forward;)

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